Sitting on the couch in a jungle of boxes. P sleeping in her new room. A thoroughly exhausted after a day of moving that started at 6.30 am. Happy day.
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Hating Halloween
It’s not even October yet (hell, it’s not even September yet) and I’m already starting to fret about Halloween. I can’t help it. Halloween is my least favorite holiday. Ever.
I should say that my first ever Halloween started off with a bang. Twenty-five years ago on October 31, my family immigrated to the United States. We left war-torn Iran, packing all our necessities into a few suitcases, and literally left in the middle of the night without telling anyone (except close relatives) where were going.
We flew to Rome via Frankfurt (on Lufthansa, my father’s favorite airline because 50 years ago a flight attendant gave him a dry cleaning ticket after she spilled a drink on him). For some reason, all Iranian citizens who want to immigrate to the United States have to handle all their paperwork through the American Embassy in Rome. And so we started our journey into the strange new land amidst cobblestone streets and visits to Pompeii.
I celebrated my ninth birthday in a hotel room and blew out the candles on a beautiful cake—only to be sorely disappointed at my first bite of the liquor-drenched confection.
And after ten days of bureaucratic craziness interspersed with incredibly normal tourist activities (and meals consisting of rotisserie chickens and Fanta), we finally made our way to Dallas, Texas, to the home of an aunt.
We landed on U.S. soil on October 31, 1986.
The sight of people dressed up as cowboys and Indians at the airport was strange and unforgettable. So unforgettable, in fact, that the airport scene was the intro to every college essay my sister wrote. It served her well, too—she got into Cornell and Berkeley only four years after coming to the U.S. without knowing a lick of English. Sorry, had to brag on her behalf.
But when we got to my aunt’s house, there was an even better surprise: candy. Strewn everywhere. On the welcome mat, in the entryway…everywhere.
I could get to like this new country.
Fast-forward one year, when my ten-year old self was learning English and trying to make friends in the fifth grade in a new school in Northern California. Everyone was asking excitedly, “What will you be for Halloween?”
And I had no idea what the heck Halloween was. And who wants to admit that to new friends in fifth grade? Without any help from Google, I figured out that it was a holiday that required one to dress up in a costume.
At the time, my incredibly educated father and mother were working in a gas station and washing lab implements, respectively, so it wasn’t really the time to ask for an extravagant costume. So I did what any imaginative kid would do: I raided the house and found something I could use for a costume. I studded an old sweater with as many safety pins as I could find, and went to school in my “costume” as….well, I’m not really sure. A kid in a safety-pin-studded sweater, I guess.
As far as I remember, the day in school went off without a hitch. But I had no idea about what was yet to come: trick or treating.
It turned out, neither did my parents.
The stream of kids coming to the house either made them nervous or uncomfortable, and perhaps both. We turned off the lights and pretended we weren’t home. We didn’t have any candy to hand out. Why were little kids begging for candy, anyway? What was wrong with this country?
Since then, I’ve lived through 23 Halloweens (but who’s counting, right?). Eight were spent in Italy, so there was no worrying about costumes or stock-piling candy. In Italia, October 31 would come and go just like any other day of the year.
I can’t say that I have fabulous memories from the remaining 15. There was the one year when I was an undergrad at Berkeley, when my friends and I went to the craziness of the Castro party in San Francisco. What I remember the most about that night was running at breakneck speeds so we could catch the last train back to Berkeley.
At parties, I’m generally the annoying girl without a costume, saying I’m dressed up as myself. That is, if I’m even invited to a Halloween party.
A is no help whatsoever with this Halloween quandary. Since he didn’t grow up in the U.S. either, he doesn’t understand what the big deal is. And since he has a Y chromosome, he’s not crazy about chocolate. So Halloween really says nothing to him.
Last year was P’s first Halloween, and it was probably the most memorable to date. I splurged and bought her an adorable ladybug costume. We dressed her up and took her to my sister’s house to show her off.
Then we went to a pumpkin patch, where we took her picture with a gazillion pumpkins and in a pumpkin chariot.
We looked just like a typical, All-American family.
And that night, when trick-or-treaters came by, I opened the door, made appropriate comments about their costumes, and doled out handfuls of Kit Kats and Snickers. Oh, the lessons had been learned.
I have to admit that a part of me still cringed every time the doorbell rang. In a few years, I look forward to accompanying P in her first trick-or-treat adventure. If I act uncomfortable doing it, it’s because it will also be my first time going trick-or-treating.
After an almost two-year hiatus…
We’re baaaaack! You know you missed me. So, what has happened since September 2009? I had a baby girl in January 2010, moved to the East Bay (though I’m not getting rid of that Golden Gate Bridge picture on the blog) in May, and got a new job as a copywriter in August. So you might say it’s been a busy few years – but definitely not an excuse to not write here!
To be perfectly frank, I sometimes get freaked out by people’s blog posts. It just seems to be so much information – so much personal information – just hanging out there…ready for anyone to read. Granted that’s the whole point, and I can even be OK with putting stuff about myself on the blogosphere. But writing about a newborn (well, a toddler now)?
I’m not so sure about that.
What if she resents me for the play-by-play of her life? End up hating the fact that her personal accomplishments were laid bare for the whole world to see? Who knows how her generation will feel about all this social media – goodness, blogs will be sooooooo 2011 when she’s in college (hopefully) in 2030 (eek!).
Just to be on the safe side, I’ll try to keep her out of it as much as I possibly can. So no pictures of her on the potty or in the tub, no videos of her throwing food on the ground, and no mentions of her name. She’ll be known simply as P, and we’ll see how much we can keep this blog about me (me me me me me), and sometimes about food. Maybe baby food.
A Rose by any Other Name
So, what’s in a name? Apparently, a lot. It turns out that the thing most people are curious about after they find you’re pregnant (OK, the second thing after the sex of the child) is what you’re going to name him/her. Well, in our case her. Following my friend S’s method, we have decided to keep it a secret until she’s born. As I mentioned in my first post, A. and I came up with names in about an hour after we found out I was pregnant, and have stuck with the names throughout.
It’s not like we’re afraid someone will take the name…it’s that no name is good enough for people, it seems. I have been asking for suggestions about Iranian names from my mom, and she’s come up with some good ones…too bad none of them can be pronounced by the girl’s Italian father. And we’re afraid that the name will be ruined by someone, as in “you’re naming her Joni? I know a Joni and she’s horrible! Don’t name her that!”
There are many considerations to take into account: the name will have to work in English, Farsi, AND Italian. That’s asking a lot of a name. And A. and I both wanted something simple enough that the poor thing wouldn’t have to spell it out for the rest of her life (that, I can assure you, is no fun at all). A name easy enough to tell the maitre d’ in a restaurant, and one that can be understood at loud frat parties when she’s in college. Not that she’ll go to any of those, of course.
My First First Birthday Party
This past weekend A. and I went to my friend S’s baby girl’s first birthday party. It was a great time and Sabrina is just too cute.
Some thoughts: 1) wow, all my friend’s friends have kids. Well, that’s what it seemed like, anyway. Apparently, once you have a child you will be surrounded by people who have kids, and 2) this whole parenting thing might require more energy than what I have. All those kids everywhere…I was completely exhausted and had to take a nap when I got home.